Of pasts and awful memories

SweetPerceptions says:

Its bad to always compare your partner to your exes, moreso, look for differences and/or similarities.  Though this is how I feel, its not bad to inform them of their differences/similarities.  Comparing is a word different from Sharing.  One need not "compare" to measure up the happiness/contentment in a relationship; "sharing" on the other hand can be done out of fun, transparency and even to boost your partner’s morale.

Before I had my first relationship, I have always regarded myself as a liberal person.  There are no rules in having a relationship–you just got to have the love, trust and honesty, and nothing more.  But, as time went by, I have developed awful requirements in a relationship.

I have experienced having a relationship wherein I befriended all my partner’s exes because I’ve always felt they were just part of the past and contributed to my partner’s growth.. and nothing more.  Well, this is only to find out that they ‘usually’ flirt with each other though both were in another relationship. Also, before, I used to feel that comparisons are insignificant because I always believed in myself and my love for my partner is always unique at all costs.. but now, I hate comparisons.

For the many years that I have been compared to somebody else (in a relationship), I somehow felt I have triumphed, yet I developed in me a sense of inferiority.  As a result, I shy away from meeting my partners’ friends and family.  I’d be happier to avoid sharp comments about how the last girlfriend was, and their fond memories during a certain event.  Isn’t that a bit sweet for a welcome?!

With these, I’d like to highlight too that I wouldn’t want to meet my ex or any ex of my partner at any time possible.  If we may, I’d like to stay away from such instances because it doesn’t make me feel comfortable at all.  This is how I felt since the first ever break up I had.  This will also include all the girls that my partner have courted before myself.

I know so that though I have these rules to set for myself I still love as much as I can and with all my heart.  These arent’ meant to be limitations, but guidelines for better relationship handling.  I think its important that you know what your partner thinks about stuffs that are hard to talk about.  Communication and trust.. its just everything.

Though I have lots of awful memories in the past, I’m trying my best to keep them off the shore and share only the most wonderful memories with my honey.  

Deyey says:

It’s hard to forget about things people have done in the past since these memories may have affected some aspect of your own life. Still, the best thing to do about this is to "learn the lesson" and simply try to look at those awful memories as mere memories.

It would be hard to imagine a life which is so perfect… wherein everything that happens is automatically "good", thus, no painful memories would ever exist. But since this would never happen and memories will, at some point or another, haunt you, it is best to shrug them off and simply live in the present. As my favorite band True Faith says, "memories are cheap".

I have no issues with people who have a hard time dealing with their pasts but if they don’t understand the lessons being taught, then it would be a big problem. Everything in life is a lesson, and we should all strive to get an "A"… especially in history!