Of pasts and awful memories

SweetPerceptions says:

Its bad to always compare your partner to your exes, moreso, look for differences and/or similarities.  Though this is how I feel, its not bad to inform them of their differences/similarities.  Comparing is a word different from Sharing.  One need not "compare" to measure up the happiness/contentment in a relationship; "sharing" on the other hand can be done out of fun, transparency and even to boost your partner’s morale.

Before I had my first relationship, I have always regarded myself as a liberal person.  There are no rules in having a relationship–you just got to have the love, trust and honesty, and nothing more.  But, as time went by, I have developed awful requirements in a relationship.
(more…)

On True Love vs The Pursuit of a Dream

"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend.  If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love… the love that speaks of the Language of the World"

SweetPerceptions says:

If you have read Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, then you must have seen this quote before.

I believe this saying is true.  Paulo had a way of rephrasing something that was old and have been regarded as a cliche.  

If you love someone, set them free.  If they come back, then its meant to be.

The one heart that loves is one who also knows how to give unconditionally.  Sometimes this is a hard fact to take and may even violate the simplicity of relationships.  But, really, that is how it should work.  Love was never meant to tear two loving hearts into different ways, but only to challenge the love that it proclaims.

The heart that loves is one that will accept you and respect you completely.  It will not be judging, but be forgiving.  I guess a lot of you would've said that its a fairy tale, the way I'm saying this, but it is true. 

How can the one who say  they love you cannot join your dreams and pursuits of these dreams?  Truly, you may not share the same dream, or one or the other's dream may seem silly or futile, but it is love that will understand that the other heart yearns for its own fulfillment.  

Just the other night, we (Deyey and I) were discussing about dreams and it saddened me to hear that his dreams were those that I think were silly.  They were foolish as I could have muttered those words at the instant I heard his thoughts, but in them were real jealousy of such a perfect dream.  I give full respect to those dreams that are very simple yet takes the whole lifetime to fulfill.  I may have a different dream, but every turn I take, its still pleasurable to share it with you.

What I cannot seem to understand is that one person as beautiful as you (Deyey, my honey) can ever say is that you wanted me, and the whole universe conspired for you to get me.   (But I will not say I don't deserve it, for nature may be listening and regard that statement as my own desire.. hehe..)  I'm blessed to have found True Love and can still pursue my dream with you!

Deyey says:

True Love… oh how sweet to find one in this ever-changing world. Not everyone can say that they found the kind of love they've been searching for all their lives. They can only say it once they experience it thus there is no such "criteria" which one can judge whether it's true love or not. It can only be felt…

…and this is how I'm feeling for my Honey with those sweet perceptions in life. I am inspired to do things I thought I'm unable to do, not because I want to prove things to her but rather because I'm just feeling extra confident and extra "powerful". It maybe due to the love I'm getting from her.

And with this extra confidence, I have more faith that I can follow my dreams. Yes, I have many dreams and some run different from hers. Some may be petty for her but which I consider concrete. Yet, due to true love, we are both able to understand each other's differences and help each other in achieving our dreams, one way or another, without compromising our relationship. For this I believe I am truly blessed for the love of a woman I so dearly want to love and care for.

Coelho did say a great thing in achieving your dreams… that if you want it that bad, then the whole universe will conspire for you to get it. Maybe we've been both dreaming of a love that surpasses "expectations" from other people. We may be dreaming of a love that is beyond the norms. We may be dreaming of a love that we thought is not possible…

The dream of true, unwavering love with respect and care for not only your partner but also for the people and things he / she loves. Yes, we all dream of these… a love that is near perfection…

Not possible? Look at Sweetperceptions and Deyey and you be the judge! 

On being totally honest and child like

SweetPerceptions says:

On being totally honest

I always thought that 'old' couples miss out each other's company because either they aren't totally honest or they lost the child that they have within themselves.

Yesterday, I thought I'd space out and simply crumble to pieces just by telling the truth.. But this is only a thought.  It's really a shame to be totally honest, but kinda liberating in the end.  It can be a pet peeve that you're trying to let go, or simply letting out a rant; but the simple yet difficult way of telling the truth can be the only way out.

I think that everyone who engages in a relationship must learn to be totally honest, and also take the other's complete honesty.  It must always be 'egoless', otherwise, you both will never grow.  And so, I am thankful to hear my partner's rants and learn from them, much as he is always willing to do the same thing.

It's really a petty thing to take note of, but in order to grant me peace of mind, I had to spill it out.  It's always unhealthy to keep secrets, stuffs that could really bother you to death.  I am not sorry about it, I guess that is human nature, I only have to tell.  Things that hurt the most, must never be kept secret.  If one needs help, then ask for it.  No one can help you if they don't know it.  And, I believe, we must never assume anything, more importantly if its about your partner.  A false assumption is also a killer.  It can kill you if you thought wrong, or kill your partner because he was judged.  So, the simple way of dealing with these stuffs is just to be honest..

On being child like

Somehow, it is also great that he enjoys being playful as much as I am playful.  I enjoy the times that we can be child like and simply have fun without the expense of ruining our reputation (as serious persons, moreso, managers of our company).  I simply love the times that I can be simply me, and still have him love my child like nature. 

Get to play sometimes.  It doesn't hurt to be simple minded at times, and it can relieve stress.   

Deyey says:

On being totally honest

The best thing a couple can have, besides love of course, is honesty. Partners need to be honest with each other so that "trust" will follow soon after. The more you are honest to your loved one, the more he or she will trust you in letting you know his or her ideas and feelings.

An honest relationship is a healthy relationship. Even though you may hurt your partner with your full honesty, at least your partner knows what's bugging you, or what's keeping you smiling.

However, since we're all humans, there will come times wherein one would lie, either inadvertently or purposely. Inadvertently if the partner didn't have any knowledge that he or she actually lied (yes there are cases like these). Purposely if the partner has full knowledge of the truth and how he or she will bend it.

Even if it's a "white lie", it would still be a lot better to tell your partner the truth, though you know that it might hurt him or her. That's how it is with reality. It's a lot like an vaccine… you'll get hurt a bit but it's gonna do you good once you get it.

As for me, I've already failed slightly with honesty so I have to pay the price of regaining my partner's trust. Yet, I still believe that love would get me through this… and an honest love is all I'm willing to give to my "Honey".

On being child-like

This is the best feeling in the world! One should always learn when to be serious and when to be child-like. As for me and my partner, we can balance our moods depending on the situation. I really love it when we do "kiddie" things together… just for the fun of it.

We don't want to let go of that feeling wherein you don't have a care in the world, regardless of the consequence (one time, in band camp, my honey urged me to "get lost" with her in our trip to Dau…). It's really a healthy thing to "de-stress" once in a while by getting back to your "inner child" and never minding all the negative factors that come to your life.

As a child would say, "why would I do that when I'm happy doing this?"

Simplicity. Just like a child!